The Real Deal About What I have Learned About Anxiety

Hey Everyone-

Of course it has been a while since I last posted. That is basically my MO these days. I decided to write this blog to hopefully help others in a similar situation. I never ever thought I would have any knowledge of anxiety. In fact- I had a VERY messed up view about what anxiety was and who got it. As I sit here and eat my second bag of sour gummy worms in two days- I can finally breathe in and out and talk about it.

Things in my life have been complicated and hectic these past 7 months. My family and I have moved across the country, been in one SUPER scary ER situation with Grafton and then a not so scary ER situation with Grafton, and I had one of the most important people in my life pass away. Might I add- all of those situations happened EXACTLY all within a month and half of each other. To say I have been a little off is an understatement.

I got the news on April 25th that my sweet beloved Memaw had passed away unexpectedly. I remember where I was. I remember what I was doing in the moments leading up to the now hated phone call I got from my mother who was hurting just as badly as I was. I remember thanking God Grafton was asleep and taking an excellent nap. I remember my husband picking up my broken and exhausted body up off the floor as he barreled in the front door. It was such a profound moment in my life that I don't know I will ever forget it. I say that to say that a month and a half earlier I had a similar situation where I thought I was losing my one and only child in my arms in an urgent care waiting room trying not to pass out and freak out myself. While I don't feel strong enough to talk about that yet- he is TOTALLY fine and nothing life threatening actually ended up happening. It was enough to shake us to our core though.

In my short 26 years on this Earth- I had never had a life shattering circumstance. I never experienced losing someone. In a month and a half- I had a moment where I THOUGHT I was losing my child, I lost my life in Atlanta, and then my one and only Memaw was taken. We ended up driving through the night from South Bend, Indiana to Freeport, FL the day we found out she died. It took us 16 hours and some odd time. It was awful.I remember feeling so proud of myself for not crying in front of Grafton or my family. I knew I had to be strong for everyone else the entire trip. What I didn't know is that when that adrenaline wore off- I was in for a crappy situation.

Grafton and I were supposed to be flying down in the middle of May to visit everyone. Delta was so kind to reimburse me the money I paid for my plane ticket, so Grafton and I stayed in Thomasville for a while with my parents and visited. A week before we were supposed to fly back home- I got a weird feeling in my chest. I felt like I couldn't breath unless I was taking deep breathes. I wasn't crying or hyperventilating or even stressed out. I ended up going to the doctor the next day where he explained that it was probably stress or a pulled muscle. A few days later- it got so bad that I thought I was having a heart attack and ended up in the ER. The ER diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder. I remember looking at my mom and scoffing at the doctor. " I don't have an anxiety disorder. I have a great life. I have nothing to worry about. I'm fine. These things don't happen to people like me. I don't even feel stressed." I kept saying all of these things. The ER doctor kindly explained to me that this happens all the time to people. Too much stress and your brain immediately shuts down the stress part of your brain. Your body cannot do that. My body decided to fall apart and plead for the rest it needed by giving me some interesting things to deal with.

BOY WAS I WRONG ABOUT ANXIETY-Here we are 4 months later almost to the day and I had a panic attack TODAY! I have been in and out of doctors appointments. I was finally put on anxiety medication and sent to a counselor (which I actually LOVE and recommend that everyone should do). I have been consumed with worry. This has been especially concerning to me being a Christian. I recently read a book that explained what it was like to be a Christian and have an anxiety disorder. He explained that for the person it is a constant pattern of anxiety and guilt. Repeat. I couldn't have said it better myself. I would have anxiety about having anxiety because I knew I should trust God and his plan for my life. I should trust that he was going to take care of Grafton. I should trust it was time for us to move and Memaw to be taken home. I should trust if I get cancer then it is part of a bigger plan. But I knew that I didn't truly feel any of that. The anxiety of all those things were still there and wouldn't go away no matter how much I prayed or asked. Then the guilt set in because I knew I didn't truly believe those things. I felt like I shouldn't be going to a counselor for my problems when Jesus is my counselor. I shouldn't be taking medicine to help my body stop being anxious. This has been going on for months yall.

I have hit a point where I am learning to slow down. Say it is OK. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to get everything done on my to do list done in one day. God still loves me. He is still reaching for me and pulling me into his embrace. He is NOT disappointed in my decisions thus far (well some decisions i'm sure but the medicine and counselor part). I say all of this for those struggling with anxiety that are struggling because that is me. hand raised. shouting hard. I had no idea anxiety was chest pains, upset stomach, indigestion, feeling like you just don't want to get off the couch, and so mentally exhausting. SO...for anyone struggling. I hear you. I feel you. Reach out to me if you need to chat! You are great and are doing the best you can! At the end of the day-God has it all in His hands. We cannot change that.

Pumpkin Carving Time

Hi Everyone!!

It has been a little bit since I have gotten to post! Things have been so crazy around here! My son also decided to pull our laptop off the coffee table while plugged in....the cord got stuck in the computer. Needless to say- I was computerless (that definitely is not a word...just go with it) for a few days until Amazon sent us a new charger!

We have been getting in the Halloween spirit around here. I tried to do a super cute painting craft with Grafton. Yeah...it didn't go so well.

We had a little pre-painting our pumpkin photo shoot. Doesn't every prideful momma do that?

The Calm Before the Storm....

My goal was to let Grafton paint the pumpkin however he thought it should be painted. I thought this was going to be so awesome. Yeah...let me go ahead and tell you all...11 month olds don't care about painting pumpkins. All they want to do is wipe the paint off and roll the pumpkin.

 So we decided to do a little post pumpkin photo shoot! 

Thank goodness for washable paint! Everything came clean! The paint actually did not stick well to the pumpkin. Maybe if my child would have stopped wiping it off and we would have let it dry, it would have worked better. Maybe next year when he is closer to 2 (WHAT!!????) it will be better.


We also got a bigger pumpkin to carve for Grafton.

Grafton thought he was so grown sitting at the table without the table top for his high chair!

He did not touch the insides of the pumpkin at all.

Sophie wanted in on the action of pumpkin carving!

I thought Grafton would be way more into the pumpkin carving as well. However-he totally was not. I had to remind myself that he is just 11 months old. There is tons of time for him to get to enjoy all of these cool things. I did realize through both of these experiences with pumpkins that Grafton might not have been as excited and interested as I thought he would be. However it is so important to be present and offer your child experiences even when you think they don't get it or don't appreciate it. I feel like it plants little seeds of growth and gives them an experience! It is super cool to experience things through your child's eyes. I cannot wait for what is to come for this little guy and the fun he will have in the future! Stay tuned for "Halloween Fun!" Coming soon.....

Happy Reading!

Want A Healthy Glowing Face? Of Course You Do!

Good Thursday Morning!!!

I am so excited to be writing about a company today that I not only have the pleasure of working for, but I also REALLY LOVE and USE the products. I am talking about the one and only Arbonne. For those of you who don't know about this amazing company, it was started in 1980 and their motto is: Pure Safe Beneficial. This company prides itself on making products that are not only effective and amazing but are company safe and chemical free!

I was approached by an amazing mom that was my room parent 4 years ago. I was talking to her when I was pregnant about how stressed out I was about wanting to stay home but also wanting to still be challenged and help my family financially. Kara completely sold me to the company. I have been hooked for almost a year now!

Some of my favorites products to name just a few are: ALL the baby products, anti-aging skin care line, Calm Face Wash Collection, and the Detox Mask.

The Detox Mask is what I want to highlight today! The face mask makes my skin look like his has a young glow and smaller pours. It uses an "oil pulling technology" that draws out all the impurities that are in your skin. It has the most gorgeous pink clay color when you put it on! Then it dries a white pink color. You just simply rinse it off and LOVE how your skin feels. The mask has rosemary oil in it so after you rinse the mask off, your skin will still have a hydrating look! 

I always get teased that I look so young. Everywhere I go people always assume that I am still a teenager. I even still get carded at rated R movies. Yes-it is flattering but also embarrassing. Maybe i'll tell this story if I do a facebook live/ Instagram live when I show how to use this mask (so add me on social media if you don't follow me!) This mask just furthers my skin looking younger and younger. Most importantly- it keeps my skin clean and fresh without using harmful chemicals that are in most face masks. You HAVE to try this!

If you would like to know more-please comment and I will contact you!! :) 

Happy Reading!

It's a FRIDAY FAVORITE kind of DAY!

Hi Everyone!

Happy Friday! Today is Friday Favorites! I would love for you guys to comment about some of your favorite things! I love to hear what other people love!

1. Baby Braithwaite: So there is this AMAZING store in Atlanta called Baby Braithwaite. Yall-this store is EVERYTHING. One of my dreams is to own a baby store. When I think of what I want my store to be-I cannot help but think about Baby Braithwaite because they do everything to perfection. Everything from the clothes, to the huge stuffed animals, to the decor, and the amazingly pleasant staff. I LOVE everything about this store! I actually got the opportunity to go in this morning and help the owner do a little special project. While I was there- I learned that there was 20% off everything in the store. I am like a kid in a candy store in that place. I came out with 3 different pieces of clothing for my sweet Grafton to wear for Christmas. 

So I ended up buying him some corduroy red pants. Every little boy needs corduroy red pants at Christmas time and for UGA games! Then I got him this super cute navy dog sweater and a light weight long sleeve shirt with the firetruck! These outfits just make my heart want to melt! I literally want everything in this store, but for the sake of my marriage and bank account-these 3 pieces were all that I got. Yall seriously need to follow them on Instagram/ Facebook and go check out the store if you haven't! LOVE THIS PLACE!

2. Chad Cone: Yall this man is my best friend and partner in life. I would be so lost without him. I always tell him if something happens to him. I will pack all my stuff, sell our house, and move in with my parents because I would be so lost in life. Of course- he would never do that. He is much braver and has greater life ambitions! It is Chad's birthday this Sunday! Grafton and I cannot wait to celebrate him all weekend long! He works so hard every day for us! We are so appreciate of him and his life/birthday! Make sure to send him some birthday love on Sunday! Grafton and I love you! Thank you for being the best husband and daddy! Love you Chaddy!

What is on your Friday Favorite list this week???

Happy Reading!             

Homemade Toys that were a HIT!

Hi Everyone!

I am here to tell you...those reading with babies are small children. Why do we as parents even buy toys for our children? My child would be much happier with my iphone, computer, remote, magazine, or a box. Grafton loves music and anything that makes noise. I decided since he loves to play with Tupperware containers that I should just put some stuff in them. So he and I did just that!

I found these fun items in my pantry. I figured the different sizes/shapes would give each little shaker a different sound. Sure enough-this boy had a BALL!

He loved to play with an empty cup and the box of shells. I noticed that he liked the medium shells shaker the same. Probably because they were the biggest. BEWARE: it was the loudest! Maybe why he liked it the most! :) 

We also made these cool bottle shakers! I went to Target and got all of the stuff to make them. They turned out super cute!

Everything you need! Bottles, water, baby oil, fun things to fill the bottles!

I found cute Halloween stuff in the dollar section at Target. Your girl is on a budget now that I am home full time with Grafton. It was the perfect spot to get a few things. I found cute little plastic spiders and a can of plastic dinosaurs. I bought the fuzzy balls, googly eyes, feathers, and the little gems.

 All you have to do is have an empty bottle. Pour about 1/2 of the bottle up with the baby oil and fill the rest with water. Insert whatever you want into the bottom. We made a Halloween one and then a fun one. The Halloween one has spiders, googly eyes, the gem beads, and we put green food coloring in it as a fun extra. The other bottle we made  was dinosaurs, fuzzy balls, and the gem beads. 

Important Tip: Make sure to hot glue the cap onto the bottom to keep from baby unscrewing it or water leaking out! 

Happy Reading!